Memories of Things that Never Happened
by Kalcifier
Summary: Frisk knows they don't deserve their friends, but someone has to get them out of the Underground. They can deal with everything else later. (They can. Shut up, Chara.)


Frisk's encounter with the Memoryheads had been a whirlwind of confusion and misery and terror. They had been so good this time, but they'd never seen anything like this, and they weren't sure what to do. Chara was no help, muttering from the back of their mind about how this was what trying to do the right thing got you.

Sometime during the fight, one of the Memoryheads had managed to slip some of itself into Frisk's pockets. At the time, they hadn't been able to look, but when things had cooled down Chara had reminded them about it.

Frisk had been about to save when Chara spoke up. "Make sure that thing didn't poison you." they said. "It would be stupid to make a save right before you were going to die. I refuse to sit through this garbage again because you had to reset from an idiotic save." They had sounded aloof in a way that Frisk liked to read as concern, so they obeyed, pulling the object out for Chara to pass judgment.

Not that Chara seemed to know what to make of it either. They announced it as a "Bad Memory", but when had Frisk asked for more details, they were sent a pulse of confusion. "It's probably bad for you." Chara finally said, "You should just get rid of it."

But they agreed that it shouldn't interfere with Frisk's save, at least, so Frisk decided to deal with it someplace less creepy. They gathered their determination and pressed on.

To no one's surprise, things only got worse from there. They had thought they were getting used to the Amalgamations, but then they had encountered Snowdrake's poor mother. Chara mocked them for getting so worked up over it, but even that was strangely subdued. Frisk still had vague memories of someone else melting like that; they didn't want to know what Chara was picturing.

To their surprise, someone actually came to help them at the end of the lab. They wanted to laugh at Alphys' guilt, though. It was bad of them, but if she knew how bad they were, that would be the least of her concerns.

The trend of people helping them continued right up through their fight with Asriel. Frisk managed to keep it together when their friends tried to protect them from Flowey, even though Frisk knew themself to be a fraud. They even stayed strong as Chara suggested they save their friends' souls from Asriel. Given everything, it was the least Frisk could do for their friends.

But then Chara used the last remnants of their soul to protect Frisk. Chara, who was rude and snarky and knew all of Frisk's sins. Who had not only seen their weakness but had been dragged into it. And despite everything, they were still trying to save Frisk.

It was a good thing that Asriel was done attacking, because Frisk hadn't been sure they would be able to stop crying long enough to dodge. Then Asriel started crying, and even as Chara was making fun of them both for it, their own mental voice managed to sound choked up too.

Frisk was guiltily glad their friends weren't there to see them. They weren't sure they could handle being comforted by people who didn't know what Frisk had done to them.

Asriel at least knew. He could even relate, though at least he had an excuse. (It was almost funny; losing his soul led Asriel to the resets, and the resets led Frisk to losing their soul.)

But as much as Frisk wanted to comfort Asriel, they knew it wasn't really their place. Hearing Asriel's painfully familiar attempts to explain himself, they slipped into the back of their mind, giving Chara control. Frisk could feel their shock and their apprehension, and did their best to radiate reassurance. Chara had saved them; they deserved closure. Frisk trusted them.

They elected to ignore the quiet "your mistake."

But the important part was that Chara was approaching Asriel. Their steps were tentative, but they hugged him without hesitation. Asriel tensed at first, but gradually relaxed as he returned the hug.

Eventually, Chara shoved Frisk back into control, muttering something about "hitting their 'feelings limit'." Asriel let go soon after. Frisk stepped back and watched as the world went white.

They didn't remember closing their eyes, but when they opened them again, their friends were gathered around them. Everyone knew their name now, and they realized no one had asked for it. Frisk thought that would have mattered to them once; at this point they were just glad everyone was alive.

The barrier was apparently gone, too. Chara seemed subdued by this news, and Frisk wanted to help them. But everyone's happiness seemed to focus on them, overwhelming them. They took Toriel up on her offer to say goodbye to the Underground as much as to clear their head as anything. The sooner they could get away from the temptation to reset, the better.

Chara insisted they were fine, and Frisk decided to let it go. Frisk wasn't sure talking would help either of them at this point. Still, they didn't want to go back immediately. They took the chance to visit Napstablook and Monster Kid and share the good news.

They still weren't sure they were ready to face the human world again, but they had to get away from the Underground, so they claimed they were. They focused on Toriel's hand in theirs, and how solid it was.

It was sunset when the monsters emerged from their prison. Frisk thought that was appropriate, though it didn't keep them from being annoyed. The monsters made the extremely sensible decision to spend the night underground, where they'd have shelter and beds, before heading out in the morning. Chara seemed bitterly amused by the decision. Frisk was just upset.

At least Asgore had volunteered the palace's many guest bedrooms. It would be more convenient for all of them, so Frisk hadn't protested. They were soon settled in a musty guest bedroom; Toriel had offered to stay with them, but Frisk had turned her down gently. They hadn't spent much time in the castle in any timeline, so it would hopefully be relatively free of memories.

As soon as Frisk was alone, they felt Chara perking up in the back of their mind. "Speaking of memories, do you still have that Bad Memory in your pocket?"

Frisk brought it out to show Chara, who groaned. "I don't know why you still have that gross thing. I'd think you have enough bad memories as it is."

Frisk ignored them. It wasn't that gross, really. Sure, it was a bit goopy, but the light shining off its white surface made it look iridescent. It was smooth and cool to the touch. It's almost pretty, Frisk thought.

Chara continued to grumble; Frisk ignored them. They climbed into the bed and put the Bad Memory under their pillow. They knew they'd probably have nightmares, but they already had one bad memory to shove in their pockets or ignore or even admire. With time, maybe they could do the same to the others.

The thought filled them with determination.


End file.
